Tuesday, December 30, 2003


feeling very tired out for now, but just a short blog abt things?

got a digicam (thanks to my mum!)...trying out for now still, but some of my shots still a bit fuzzy when i take, but will con't to practise?

have been going for IBS (Inductive Bible Study)course, conducted by the FES, for the past few days, very very good course, but will need more practise on the things taught. Really thank God for the opportunity to be able to learn abt things in such a way too man. Thing is that have not been able to get enough erst somehow, so very tired..

a dear friend's in need again, or conflict, or whatever, not sure what's the thing's that really wrong. thing is that i'm already starting to be at my wit's end, not knowing how to help other than pray liao...damn tired liao...but y am i still doing this? in love as He commanded? or what? i dunno liao...really really dunno liao what to do, except for, yes, pray

my mei's in need of prayer too, will pray for her

not talking properly liao, gonna do stuff first, and clear my backlog of stuff to do (which is y i came back here too), and yeah, will try to post some of the nicer pics online? =) my dog nice? (look at the top) *woof*

Friday, December 26, 2003


It's interesting how God cheers you up when you're feeling depressed, through your friends, family, dog, etc. Thanks CFers...though you may not know it but you've helped somehow too last night!

Went to Merchant Court Hotel for high tea with mum yesterday too...had so much food... =P

Hope everyone had a blessed day yesterday; Well, next week's new year week!

Prob will be getting a digicam later...? See first lah.

Hahaha...my friend's coming back tml? Hehe...

Oh yeah, and thank God for WB n his sis, I'm using their comp now (again)

Later frente~

Monday, December 22, 2003

Christmas @ Hope

Just came back to hall tonight to prep for tml's subject registration and stuff, and to blog, and to clear my mails. =)

Helped out in the student care centre's evangelistic christmas event targeted at the children's parents, and though I never turned up for any of the days they had the rehearsals and anything (busy ah...), had a good time helping out and stuff still hehe...

Before the kids went off to the community centre for the event in the late afternoon they had a nap, and one of the kids woke up with some sort of rash (they called it feng1 mo2, not sure what it is in english...), really really bad itch: apparently she had gotten it already the night before and did not see the doc cos it sort of subsided in the evening so her mum didn't send her to see the doc. So when we found out she was really suffering, cos of the itch and the pain from scratching (oww...had developed a very bad beer rash last time overnight, and the feeling was NOT good...). After watching her groan that it was itchy and she wanted to scratch and all that, something sorta prompted and we (some teachers and I) prayed for her healing with her. She was told, Jesus will heal her, she only had to believe, and that she WOULD go and perform that evening. And to cut the crap, yes she DID turn up in the end to perform, totally okay! And all she had was a wash with dettol only? Praise Him man...dunno whether she really understood the implications of that and/or whether she really believed, but if anything, it's a seed sown I know =)

Know that that prob wasn't very much, but really, it did get to me (okok, it touched me ok), so yeah, just sharing with ya guys, and hope that it'll encourage you all anyways somehow =)

The event turned up pretty well, even though there were the hiccups (putting on the mikes for the people too late, a kid crying from the stress on-stage, equipment supposedly not being brought to the place, timings not being met and all that) and probably even snafu's along the way haha...it's good to know that the Lord was overseeing the entire event all the while! =)

Have to plan and prep for the subject registration tml...all the best!

Friday, December 19, 2003

Merry Christmas!! Till then...

Will be out from hall again, dunno when coming back again...but anyways


to those who read this =)
God bless


Am i mistaken? Or am i not?
Dunno lah, am shaken a bit, but dunno what that means...
But anyway just take things one step at a time lah

"Boat come to bridge head, naturally cross" (is it that?)

the present present

the present is nice
so it's easy to accept
but pray that when the lessons are tough
the attitude will still be the same: thankful


hmmm...today's the first yr anniversary since i've passed my driving test too! means that no need to put p-plate (or worry abt that) when driving liao? lol...but still no car lah! *wake up!*


Had the last session of the Gospel Relay Training today...On knowing and telling the gospel...Have learnt quite a fair bit from it, including the urgency that when Christ comes again, it's all over and those who've not accepted Jesus Christ as his/her Lord AND Saviour will be judged, meaning death and destruction...And we do not know when He is coming again? Also have been challenged (as usual, when it's the staff workers) too...Hope that we all will not forget the lessons we learnt from this, and yeah, I would want to carry on from here too...Oh well, the best way not to lose something, is to use it!! Right? =)

will miss the rest of the (wonderful) brothers and sisters in Christ I've met, mostly during the camp one, wonder when will we ever meet to encourage one another and/or fellowship..? But it's been great knowing them too so far, and encouraging too =)

a LOT of ACJ pple in SMUCF too...hahaha....So funny...Small world... =P

La Vie En Rose

La Vie En Rose by Louis Armstrong

la la la~~~

Hold me close and hold me fast
The magic spell you cast
This is La vie en rose

When you kiss me heaven sighs
And tho I close my eyes
I see La vie en rose

When you press me to your heart
I'm in a world apart
A world where roses bloom

And when you speak...angels sing from above
Everyday words seem...to turn into love songs

Give your heart and soul to me
And life will always be
La vie en rose

Thursday, December 18, 2003

Results are out~~

the results are out!!!

and really realyl thank God man, they're a lot better than i expected for them?

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Holidays (Xmas)

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Holidays (Xmas)

Therefore...X'mas is legit! lol... =)

Love Me If You DARE =P

Love Me If You Dare (2004): Guillaume Canet, Marion Cotillard

Just saw the movie today with my friend, nice show lol...but must view it with a pinch of salt I feel, as the story has some very wrong values in it, like really bad promiscuity and stuff like that haha...but all in all it generaly was quite a touching story man *sniff sniff*...haha

Reached late to the meeting place, ended up going into the cinema the moment the show started...felt really bad abt it ah, but also wonder whether my friend minded really, even though supposedly was okay? But not nice ah to be late...

Cineleisure has some new theatres! At the fourth level where the arcade used to occupy the entire floor along with the pool table area? Yeah...pretty big theatres too, even though sat at the front..hehe =P

Met my friends from army in PS too in the evening by chance, and spent some time catching up with them too, miss them too ah, the times we spent together...and also caught another CG "sister" (in-Christ) in PS too along with her mum...small world huh?

Come to think of it, today really met a LOT of pple that I know? From army and church, hwah...all in one day? Hmmm...really a lot of pple ah...

...have to confront some things face on too? Yeah...hope not to run away or avoid the topic anyways totally like I've always had last time...ended up with a hell lot of crap...but of course have to think of things objectively lah!

I think I'm crapping again, time to go bathe

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

how picky are you? crap quiz

channel4.com - health - how picky are you?

Got a score of 32%..hehz =P

Could be pickier! Your willingness to look
beyond the surfaces for other qualities shows
that you are grounded in reality when looking
for a relationship. Just beware of going with
the flow too much and settling for "OK" instead
of "fantastic".

Monday, December 15, 2003


Results are coming back on this Friday, and though I'm sian'ed from the wait, but still can't help being a bit excited abt it, esp. with others getting their results already and all that. *shivers in anticipation*

Do pray for me yeah? That I'll be able to accept whatever I get and thank God still (really).. =)


Went bowling with my friends today, hehehe....nice time fellowshipping with the CF friends...then went to Marche for dinner (to me lah)...lol...learnt quite a few things:

1) I'm over-react when people wear glitter, prob is cos nv see before (suaku) haha

2) sinfulangel's a pretty good bowler sia, and it's really nice to see him laff =) =)

3) i can't really bowl for nuts (for a guy)

ahhh...... =)

Which LOTR Character are you??

Hobbit Personality Test

You are most like
Gimli, Son of Gloin

Gimli engages in a friendly slaying competition with Legolas, showing his mastery of his instrument of choice, the axe.
You are good with tools and instruments. You are not shy at telling others what to do. Time alone is important and solitary activities refresh you. You have good observational skills. In your desire for clarity in life, you may have the tendency of being remote or even "heartless". You like keeping your options open. Closure is probably not one of your strong suits.

Like Boromir, you are not content to sit on the sidelines while the action takes place around you.

Traits: Open minded, easy going, persuassive, optimistic about the future. On the dark side you could be exploitative and an opportunist.

I'm most like that dwarf!?!!

Back in hall~~

Once again, I'm back in hall for the week...

So many things happened since I last blogged, and so many things to share...lol...but hope I can capture as many as I can before I forget... (old liao?)

Where to start ah? hmmm...
Oh yeah!

Last Friday went to hike up Bukit Timah Hill from Macritchie Reservoir with the SCC kids (student Care Centre), had fun with them as usual (since when have anyone gone there and not had fun with the kids? lol), but one thing happened that got my attention: For some reason there's this group of younger ones that always wanted to hold on to my hands/arms/fingers/shirt/whatever during the duration of the walk lol, but that's not the point, one part there were two of them who were pushing away another younger kid from getting near me for some reason, and ended up the younger kid cried when he was pushed. The results were expected, the two were told off, and they apologised, though I didn't know whether they meant it or not, but one thing: from such a young age people have been in a culture where they learn to be selfish? Even up till now I do admit I'm like that at times, but it's quite sad when so young already grow up in such a (selfish)culture...?

Saturday, was nice, had dinner with my CG friends, so nothing much to say, except for the fact that I made the mistake of sitting in the front seat of A's car when he was driving, think my hair stood up a lot more after that trip home...lol...but anyways the fellowship was nice thank God.

Today had carolling prac,...so funny, a lot of the parts most of us still remember from our last carolling, so no need to go thru so much..haha...had a great time going thru the songs... =) after that went for Integrity Music's warehouse sale, bought a Darlene Zschech CD, Kiss of Heaven, have yet to listen to it properly yet =P After that went to watch movie with church friends...strangely, for a while was feeling quite left out of the conversations going on, dunno whether it was because of the topics or anything or just the fact that wasn't online for some time(?) or anything else, but was quite surprised that it has happened again after so long...lol...either that or just didn't really have anything much to talk about the topics lah!

Know that there're people here reading and all that, but whether you know who I am or not, this is one of the places of output, or consolidating of thoughts, or to complain (lol), or whatever, so anyway, whoever's reading, whether known or not, I guess I shld be honest to both myself and those who read for whatever reasons anyways, would be weird to upkeep an image online even right? And that doesn't even mean that reading this would let anyone know me inside out (haha you'd have to try harder if you really wanted that for some reason!)

A friend forwarded some crappy msg about thinking of u, dreaming of u and all that, then tml will think of v, w, x, y, and z...hahaha....seems that I'm stuck at the letter u too myself...lol...???

Drove back to hall today! Thank God for my bro lending and the time of interaction with both his gf and my ACGL whom I sent to hall just now too...lol...and of course, the experience of driving which I was severely deprived of! =) =) =)

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Who am I?

Did this personality test, i think the four words don't really describe me, but the description? hmmm....

You're an ISFP


You're gentle and compassionate...open and flexible...considerate of others and do not for views and opinions on them. Often focus on meeting others needs...pleasant, quiet and kind....at their best ensuring others well-being. Caring and sensitive....modest and reserved..

OK...you enjoy subjects that relate to helping and knowing about people... art ... computers and history classes if these classes are taught with an applied, sensible approach.. and if objectives relate directly to everyday lives....

You're somewhat artistic, aren't you? You could probably post a great poem on the Storm Palace, huh? You dislike structure, because it takes away from your spontaneity and freedom. You like leisure, and seek it out. You savor it...probably say "stop and smell the roses"...You have a personal and humorous approach that is unique...

Patient and flexible..easy to get along with and no need to dominate others. You don't need to lead, and are a loyal follower...good team members... You're trusting and understanding...

Love to you is utter devotion and loyalty... when you first fall in love, you may feel consumed by it...."falling in love with love" ...focus on the romance of it all..you are constantly nourishing the relationship... When scorned, you probably retreat and repeatedly analyze the situation internally....When you let go finally, you can be more assertive again...

You organize things according to their personal and humanistic values. You like a work setting that contains cooperative people... leadership style involves personal loyalty as a means of motivating others... prefer team approach...likes to enjoy life...

Be careful of the following: you can lose out when you neglect your own needs. because you see others' needs so clearly, and because you're heavily motivated toward meeting others' needs, you may overlook your own requirements. You need to learn how to respect own needs more and to be assertive and direct with others in asking for their help and for time to take care of themselves.

You also lose out when you are afraid of conflict and mismanage it as a result. You take personal responsibility for conflicts and issues that in actuality belong to others. You become hurt and withdraw. Finally, you can lose out when you become self-critical, and do not appreciate your own accomplishments.

ISFP: "I Seek Fun & Pleasure"


Thank God for WB, of whom I'm now using his computer! =)

Just came back to crap a bit, saturday most prob gonna paint my mum's room, does ME=) wanna help?

Sigh...am so sianed...

tml gonna go out with my friends again! lol... =)

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

What the?!

Wow...some things can change really really fast huh...wow...

Everything That Has A Beginning, Has An End

Just watched Matrix today...alone...(awww...poor lonely me...lol joking lah)

was good actually, both watching alone (refreshing change) and the movie story, though it ended in a very weird way, agree with what one of the staff workers said about it, and the world; the story's ending is up to you to decide/guess, and the world does like to deconstruct and reconstruct things, even history. One more thing we have to watch out for in the many forms of the lies that can distort the Truth.

But all in all, action sequences of the movie were disappointing, only thing was the story, just to end the trilogy we've all watched the first two parts of.

Monday, December 08, 2003

I'm back!!! again!

This was supposed to be blogged last night, but blogger was down, so here it is~~

Finally am back to my hall room, with internet access and stuff, friends, etc etc etc...ahhh....for those who know have been itching (badly) to go online to blog & read others' blogs too to see what's up lol...

Have been away for a loooong one week, but it was really really good man tell you

Had my church retreat (or advance?) in Malaysia for 4 days, was really good, learnt more about what cell life should be like, and how it's "supposed" to function, to grow, and to multiply... one funny thing was how people in your same cell were initially called "cell-mates" (akin to being in a prison, like Paul and the initial "cell" groups)...lol...okok it's lame alright, I probably left my leg at home that's why.

Some other stuff happened on the last day when we were about to come back Singapore from Malyasia, not so pleasant, but nevertheless, will have to be settled someday....thanks Princess for helping me out so much already, really!

Had a Christian Fellowship camp on the next four days from the day I reached back SG, was a combined one with NTU, NIE and SMU CFs all together! Funny thing was how I got "arrowed" to be a GL all of a sudden...lol *ahem ahem*...*stares at IceGal*...anyways thank God the the opportunity to have served somehow in that way (if you'd call that serving?)...and also got to know a lot of fellow brothers and sisters in Christ there.. =) though there were at least one that was quite...erm...crazy...hahaha...no lah, there were a lot of different people there, some quiet, some noisy aka playful, some wise in the Word, others with many other giftings too. One of my friends in there quite "on" one too, and perky, though I always call her mad...lol...very bad of me I know, but well...prob that's how we interact lol

More importantly, learnt about the book of Ezekiel, in about 4 talks, although they were very brief, but they were simple in the message of salvation of the Bible, amongst other things like God's simple intolerance of sin because of His nature, but yet for the sake of His name and character and nature, will save His people after judgement even, sounds like what some parents will do huh? After punishing the child for something they'll put ointment on the wounds one...

For today some of my church friends went to watch movie, though didn't go with them, no time, but had a great time playing street soccer with the rest, really a good way of getting to know the Punggol residents in the area, since we ended up playing league with about 5-6 teams of 5 people, that from the time we started playing with only the 6 of us!

A friend of mine touched on one of my issues, of past...issues? Will need to pray and think abt them more first thou...

Just remembered, how come so many people know about thse blogs now ah? Wah...a bit what leh, not really ready to share so many things with them yet? Not sure...but I'm not so comfortable with so many people reading, not that, but the fact that there're already people reading this that I don't know about, not that I don't want them to read explicitly or anything, but I'd rather know who's reading my blog.....

Wednesday, November 26, 2003


Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding
In all of your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight
Don't worry about tomorrow, He's got it under control
Just trust in the Lord with all your heart, and He will carry you through

Lord sometimes it gets so tough
To keep my eyes on You when things are going rough
Then I turn my eyes up to the sky and I hear Your voice, it says to me....

*can't catch* not to worry about the troubles of this world I have overcome...

Trust, SNTR, Songs From The Book track 11

back in the room

came back hall to get my stuff (mainly clothes) for the retreat, and will not be back to blog prob until after my CF annual camp.

yay...going to go malaysia for 4 days... =P

i'm feeling better, thanks for those who prayed, i don't know whether things are ok, but i'll be alright

will blog as and when i can, or after the camps, am looking forward to december, where i'll have more time to do stuff, though the list of things to do in dec has grown to become quite large liao...oh oh...but anyways will be more free liao then, then can spend time with my friends

haha..my good friend finishes her last paper today, come to think of it....lol congrats! =)

Monday, November 24, 2003


I don't know what to do for my friend, except to pray...

but whatever happens...well...?


Have been quite busy these few days, with the church retreat stuffs and all that coming up

Have been staying home for the past few days, so no computer at home = no internet access to check up my stuffs, etc.

Just to let you guys out there know that I'm still alive...lol...

Had our CF fun-day on friday, and even though there were so many things not firmed up, and we realised last minute, and it drizzled, and me missing the last meeting meant that I was totally not in the know of what's gonna happen, but God really was good, come to think of it, I have NO idea how'd it all turn out so well the way it did...divine intervention eh? But quite paiseh, cos a lot of things think I was supposedly supposed to do, but never do, all neglected due to other things to do? But it sure wasn't pleasant going back hall on Thurs night to realise that no one had any minutes or updates, then had to start arranging stuffs last minute....didn't even have the first aid kit for one, thank God no one got hurt. Gosh..should have asked around after the last meeting....*tries to remember*

Left the fun-day early to go Changi for our ministry encouragement chalet...even though I missed most of the food already (awww man), but had a really great time in fellowship with the rest...lol...but some of the games we played were...ermm.....quite gross...hahah.....this weird game called Would You Rather?...lol....quite funny...but gross (I got my hand spat upon)

Really thank God for my cell group, had BS with them again today, and yeah, it was really great...think that even though it's only temporary (so to speak?) until our new cell groupings are finalised, but I think I really like this group...how to say ah? As in this one is really an answered prayer lor, a group to be accountable to, to learn together the Word, and also to learn from? Yeah... =)

I don't know though, I mean..relationship problems are, well, problematic, but one with a friend, whom you only want to be able to talk to NORMALLY as a friend only? Even that also cannot ah....gosh...it's like so darned awkward, till you'd rather all are strangers to each other, at least not that bad ah...but I know such things cannot be reversed, but built upon? Probably it's how much you're (or both parties) are willing to put in, but....aiyah...dunno lah...kek-sim ah. I guess I really hate to have bad blood amongst people, unless it's really that the person is totally screwed up? (different issue, different story, but that guy's one of a kind man) But what's wrong....??? I want to give this up to the Lord, and I have, I know that it means trusting Him in this totally, somehow, but yet I know the process won't be all easy nor nice, but at LEAST....I have a backer....

It's 4 am, I think I wrote a whole lot of crap ah...hahaha...don't even understand what I'm talking about...time to sleep, cya all ard in Dec and all that, will try to blog and read as and when I can, till then, take care all of ya, esp the NUS pple who're still having exams...lol =P (but really, all the best leh...)

Monday, November 17, 2003

I'm back~

Have been (and have to still) taking care of my house/dog/plants/fish at home these past few days: mum's away in Malaysia for course and brother's in US, and hence am having a no-technology retreat of sorts for a bit lol, no computer at home, my music player died, there's nothing worth watching on TV, so there! lol...thank God...

Only thing I truly miss online is blogging, and reading up on others' blogs?

Will be helping out at the student care centre and friends these few days, but all of a sudden quite a lot of changes and unsettled things on my timetable, and coupled with my terrible time keeping, it spells disaster....stress ah, now a lot of things come piling in one shot

oh man,...one of my most stressful holidays....arghs...lol

have dyed my hair...not too light colour ok...and it's not ah-beng or pai-kia ok! =P it's erm, good fashion sense? lol...bhb....but i think i like it.. =)

haha,....as for getting married? lol i know i have to, i don't think i have such self-control, but not now lah duh!! well, in His timing lah yeah? haha so sister (you know who you are), no need to help me get married for my next birthday present!! lol....

do pray for me for these few weeks if can? My timetable's strangling the life out of me...lol....will try to check on you guys' blogs too if i can

back to take care of my dog!! *woof*!

Thursday, November 13, 2003

i want to die!!!!!

oh wait, oops typo it's dye

Wednesday, November 12, 2003


wah....went for wedding rehearsal today

so niceeeeeeee.... =)

do i want to get married in the future?
erm, yes!
lol duhhhhh
siao liao
*slaps myself*

Tuesday, November 11, 2003


Wah...so rested today...woke at 2.30pm today...one of the latest to date since...don't know when! lol...

rest rest rest....

I think I'm terrible at interpreting poems haha

Sorry to those who'll feel bad at not being able to get so much rest...lol....but sharing God's blessings wat... =)

Monday, November 10, 2003

It's over~~

No prizes for guessing what's over...

Saturday, November 08, 2003

maths down

it's (almost) over~~~

as usual got killed by the maths paper too lol
hope you guys had a batter time than I had

saw yong jie (from my cg one) today too lol


You are NEMO!
What Finding Nemo Character are You?

brought to you by Quizilla

Time to sleep...and i'm a kid?!!?
lol...second last paper tml....

Friday, November 07, 2003

lazy pig

haha....want to revise a bit for maths paper tml...but dun feel like ah...lazyyyyyy.....

Thursday, November 06, 2003

I'm alive!

Really really thank God for the worship team: just came back from worship prac in church, and it's really kewl how relaxing it can be to just worship even when practising (and playing badly lol), especially with people you're familiar with..

Mum's down with a itchy neck rash, seen 3 docs already...do help pray for her too?

On the way back to hall, somehow, came to me that I needed to KNOW that I'm submitting my feelings to Him and not holding them back. Seemed that STILL have some "residue" of the past coming to irritate/haunt/disturb me time and again...sigh...know that I'm still human and all that, but just go away man....grrrr......

The exams killed us, but not for long! It's gonna be over soon~~~~


the hall became a slaughterhouse

'nuff said

Wednesday, November 05, 2003


*pant pant*
need a drink...
pant pant...

lol...tml got programming paper! thanks again Tree for the encouragements so far

on the way back to hall from hostel saw Sally (a hong kong'er student), she has just finished her last SECOND paper today!!! arghz!!!
lol...but it sure was great to see her again after so long, pity she can't join us for the annual camp....

time to bathe...and get a drink? not in the shower lah! don't be mad...

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Monday, November 03, 2003


gosh...what on earth am i saying?!
i need to go sleep early tonight....lol

the coward

feeling very sian now, feeling a bit tired ah haha...

so many things running through my mind now, but not a single moment have been able to focus on any one of them, flitting from one thought to another

have been trying to avoid my friend of late, this sucks, it really does, but i really cannot take it as nothing has happened and move on without any clearing up, and yes, i DO have trust issues, but hell, even if so it means to be able to get my trust will need a lot more than just being nice, but hey, there ARE people i trust ok

hell, going on and on in a maddening train of thoughts, non-stop, yet no focus whatsoever, and all the time have been trying to drown these away by blasting jpop and dance music so loud that i cant even hear myself think, just staring mindlessly into thin air when travelling, and just trying to enjoy the music, which happens to be one of the last few refuges i have left, short of God

am really concerned for my sister-in-christ, she can't seem to remember any of her stuffs she needs for her exams, but not that worried, know that God'll take care of her, but really hope that she'll be able to remember, short of the last weird crappy method that works: stories (???)

i miss the days in jc, so fun, (still) so carefree, though i won't want to relive them again? was too childish then lol, then again, as if now very mature lydat lol


Thursday, October 30, 2003


The exams are coming, the Glory is His, I will put in my best!

Oh man....

I'm utterly shocked, surprised, and touched: my roomie just spent the last hour copying the solutions to the past yr exam papers that I was gonna do tml, so that he could have the copied solutions, and the questions set that he just printed out!!! And he was intending to sleep at 1am, now it's 2...

All the while I was in another "black mood"...

It's hard not to think of treating him especially well, you tell me, how not to??

Time to sleep...and all the best to all again...(lost track of how many times I said that, or is it just me?)

Wednesday, October 29, 2003


Had a headache (again) today....lucky got panadol (*takes panadol from tree*....thank God...


Psalm 86, the Psalm of dependence

Listening to Final Fantasy music now...lol...quite soothing ah

It's great to know that we all have Someone to rely on in everything, the tough part is to rely on Him in everything we do...yeah? But have to work towards that!

Just got a postcard from my best friend "X", lol..really nice of you to send that, really, very touched ah, and encouraged...all the best in your studies too ok? This post's for ya (first time any post's for anyone, so you should be HONOURED...hahaha)
well...to me, one of my God-sends...thank God... =P

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

False Teachings

IVP | Quiet Time Bible Study: "The Twisted Fate of Twisted Faith

IN NOVEMBER OF 1978, in a jungle clearing in Guyana, more than nine hundred people committed suicide by drinking cyanide-treated punch. Those too young to act on their own were given the punch by their parents. The Jonestown massacre sends a shudder through all Christians--and well it should--because Jim Jones, who prescribed this 'White Night' of death, at one time claimed to be among us. It's enough to cause Christians to take a hard, critical look at the life and faith of their leaders--and themselves. The book of Jude shows us how."

....it's quite disturbing to see how mislead people can get once the opportunity appears...

Athough only studied about 4 hrs odd today with my friends,teaching them along the way and learning too, quite drained for the rest of the day to do any studying/revision. Have I reached the peak of my mental capability? Or what?

Gonna start sleeping early and waking early, to tune my body clock to prepare for the exam timings...hehe


Monday, October 27, 2003

Hair Drop

i'm dropping a whole lot of hair where i study....gross...haha...think i must have been unknowingly tearing my hair out

anyways....all the best for the exams.....4 more days~~~~

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Your "Are you Addicted to the Internet?" Results

Are you Addicted to the Internet?


Average@Internet-User.com (41% - 60%)
You seem to have a healthy balance in your life when it comes to the internet and life away from the computer. You know enough to do what you want online without looking like an idiot (most of the time). You even have your own Yahoo club or online journal! But you enjoy seeing your friends and going out to enjoy life away from your computer.

The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Quiz Me!


In Christ alone,
I place my trust,
and find my glory in the power of the Cross.
In every victory, let it be said of me,
my source of strength,
my source of hope,
is Christ alone.

song just popped up in my mind just now, so just share with you all

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

hot hot hot

wah...the weather's been so strange lately, rain, hot, rain, HOT

now the evenings are so hot!!! wah...am going to get a headache at this rate man


hope the rest of you guys have better luck concentrating =P

My half naked floor rep

My half naked floor rep
Click here for the photo...if you DARE...

interested? drop me a mail! LOL

Sunday, October 19, 2003

Thank You...!! =)

it's weird how God cheers you up when you're down in the pits, or just need some cheering up

when i came back to my room...whoah....quite a few things in the mail and such, like the friendster testimonials which you know are not crap, and at least let you see stuff in a different way....lol...really touched okay, esp by my best friend too (which i don't talk to often =P )

just want to say a big thank you to all of you friends, it's great to know that you guys are there to smile for still

Friday, October 17, 2003


hahah i think i'd better clarify before i get a lot of wrong ideas coming my way...my brother's car will be with his girlfriend, so i won't be using it all the time...hahaha

so still want to be my friend?


i tell you i really feel like vomitting blood now, have never been so exasperated before...tired...no energy to explain myself liao ah, and i probably won't have the chance at this rate things are going

my bro (my REAL one) just flew off today to the States for training, for 6 months....weird, but even though we don't really talk much, really felt a sense of loss when he left for the departure gates...i know that he'll be safe, but a lot of people will be missing him for sure..

only thing was that i got to drive his car! duh...so long nv drive liao..man,...and concluded that auto cars are far too easy (and thus not as fun) to drive compared to manual!

a few of my friends are sick...some seemingly probably more serious than others...pray that God'll heal them...fast


Wednesday, October 15, 2003


Just a short post before I go study

A Thanksgiving, thank God that somehow, just feel better (refer the the tone of the previous posts) today even though nothing special happened..

And hey Summer...everyone gets stressed up sometime or another...draw strength from Him too ok? To everyone else too.

995 hits! woooo......1000..1000..1000.....

STUDY TIME!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

no mood to study

don't feel like studying

yeah, that's what i'm feeling right now

i'm losing my concentration span, and still have no mood to study...wasted the entire day today liao ah....

had my oral presentation today (finally!), though i don't think i did, well....oh well, I know I did my best, so let it be. And thank God that no one in the class failed!!

gosh...why am i getting back to the attention seeking thinkings again? it's really very very irritating ah...............it's abt pple, it's abt pple, it's abt pple, it's abt pple, it's abt pple, it's abt pple, not yourself only, not yourself only, not yourself only, not yourself only, not yourself only, not yourself only, not yourself only, not yourself only, not yourself only, not yourself only, not yourself only

do your lab log!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, October 13, 2003


Bible Gateway : NEHEMIAH 4;

Facing opposition from the Enemy when doing God's work is normal, even expected, we should draw strength from God, and the fact that we're working with Him for His purpose..


This is lame: even the chatboard's becoming a paid service...duh~

Ahhh.....am I going to lose another friend again? Gosh, this is stupid...

Had prayer meet with my CG (CE) today, it was great to see them again...though some didn't manage to turn up..?

Saturday, October 11, 2003

Blessed weekend!

The weekend's coming...and the exams draw even nearer than before...

Have a blessed weekend all of you who read this.

And yeah, btw, counter's gonna reach 1000 liao hahaha...thanks for reading so far guys. For the 1000th reader who can prove himself/herself gets something from me? Though I dunno what yet...hahahaah

Duh...going mad liao

Friday, October 10, 2003

Pray...it's important!

IVP | Quiet Time Bible Study

Nehemiah 1

Depending on God

AT ONE TIME or another, most of us have said, "I am too busy to pray!" If the work of God or the work that we want to do for God depended on our energy and insight, then it might be true. But of course, at least theoretically, we believe that God's work can only be done through his power (Ps 127:1, "Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain"). Yet we don't think our biggest job is to pray. If we did, it might make a big difference in what we try to accomplish for the Lord! As we go before the Lord in prayer, we gain his perspective, and we gain confidence. In this study Nehemiah models dependency on the Lord for his strength.

How weird that we can all get caught up in our work, and joining Him in His work, that we forget to (or the importance of) pray(er), may we learn and NEVER forget, that it's the only thing we have that can move God's hand!

Why?! Why?

I think I'm trying too hard to know the people around me? Or just that some things are being done wrongly? Gosh, I wish someone'd tell me!!



it's ironic how people can downplay the communications module, yet it's one of the things we all need to learn (badly)


Thursday, October 09, 2003

Spread the laughter around...

added in more stuff in the nice links on the right, I highly recommend the happy tree friends one esp. for those who have broadband


Wednesday, October 08, 2003

study study study


all studying hard for exams man...lol..good, give me some stress to study too lol

oh yeah, erm, wonder what do you guys think abt the music in the background, any comments, negative or otherwise?

Arghz...I miss my xiao mei...haha..along with my friend who's also studying overseas!!!!

ok! back to study!

Tuesday, October 07, 2003


to all my dear brothers and sisters reading this, and are having exams sometime soon, all the best!


Sunday, October 05, 2003

Camera Crazy

We somehow managed to get a digicam in our hands, so went mad for a while (!!!) with it...here's some results...hehe

The corridor of my hall floor

My roomie's messy corner!

My messi-er corner hehe =P

The truster and the Trustee

Memory verse:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him, and He'll make your paths straight

Funny how I can NEVER remember where these verses come from, but then again..!!! =P

Trust ***, TRUST!!!!

Saturday, October 04, 2003


Was just wondering, is it just human that people can't really interact in grops of more than two, unless all are of the same interests, or at least same focus?

Or is it all about give and take?


Think have been especially depressed lately? Or just thinking too much ah! hahhaa......disturbed by so many things!

Friday, October 03, 2003


Your: Happy eyes! Your cheerfull, bright and always want to try something new. Your inquisitive and quite lovable. You have many friends and will succseed in life.
Your: Happy eyes! Your cheerfull, bright and always
want to try something new. Your inquisitive and
quite lovable. You have many friends and will
succseed in life.

What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

*messy insides*

Just came back from movie and drinks with my church mates
really enjoyed the time interacting with them

and thank God for the lift back (again!)!! =)

but on the way back, some comment made in the car...dunno how i feel abt that, but i wasn't very happy about it, and i don't know what exactly were my thoughts about it, but time to sort them out too...

hope everyone reading this had a blessed day today too!

it's hot down here

wah kaoz...weather's darned hot ah...or is it jus me??

arghz *fans himself*

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Good Morning!

ahhh...just woke up...*stretches*

hehe...thank God for thursdays to relax and recharge ah...

.... *ouch*...

it pains me to see a dear sister going through what seems like the issue that has bogged me down for years, but yet not know how to give advice exactly as I think that only our good Lord can tell her exactly what to do?

May God be with us all, and thankfully, He's the Rock we can trust...

Wednesday, October 01, 2003


slack slack slack

nah....got study okay... =P

something not so nice happened today, though I shall not elaborate, but the group of us managed to get one person pissed (for a while? dunno..), partly due to our impatience and lack of foresight, and inconsideration? But I think from this event we all should have learnt something ah...and to move on yeah?

anyways tomorrow is my free day! am looking forward to resting and studying up on my programming a bit!

Happy Children's Day!

I can't believe it, my mei n a friend just wished me happy children's day this morning!

hahaha...all for fun sure, but wonder whether it's an insult or a compliment?

Anyway a happy children's day to all those reading this, and are eligible for that in any way hahaha, enjoy your holiday...

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

I'm back! In my room...

Had CF Corporate meeting today, must say I really enjoy worshipping God together and learning more about the Word! (today's message was really quite good)

Hope to be able to get to know these wonderful brother and sisters in Christ more.. =)

Monday, September 29, 2003


nothing to say for now...

off to work!

Sunday, September 28, 2003

Give Them All (To Jesus)

Are you tired of chasing pretty rainbows?
Are you tired of spinning round and round?
Wrap up all those shattered dreams of your life
And at the feet of Jesus, lay them down.

Give them all, give them all, give them all to Jesus
Shattered dreams, wounded hearts, and broken toys.
Give them all, give them all, give them all to Jesus
And He will turn your sorrows into joy.

He never said you only see sunshine,
He never said there would be no rain.
He only promised a heart full of singing
About the very thing that once brought pain.

Matthew 11:28
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

Funny that I remember last time they used it as an (very corny, yet funny lol) offering song in sunday school!

The surveys are over!!!!

Just finished the last leg of (very very tiring) surveys in the punggol area, and jus to say that i'm really very encouraged by the people who went all the way for the 5 weeks of gruelling walking around and asking questions, throwing away our own faces and embarrassing ourselves more often than not! hahaha...

and also my survey partner, though today was not feeling too well, but still went for the survey anyway (nv pang seh me also....thank God ah!)...

ah...........wat to say? =)

Saturday, September 27, 2003


hwah...everyone all celebrating their birthdays, etc, then realised I didn't really celebrate mine! (21 yrs even ok!)

and just about the same number of people gave presents (2?), awww....

hahaha....mad liao, doing lab report can think of such stuff...hahaha

back to work!!!

Friday, September 26, 2003


Thank God for the brothers and sister in Christ in my life, all of them!

had prayer meet today....was great, though it only went the same way, but also played guitar for the worship too hehe

so fun, and the miracle of it all was that we had NO practise okay...hehe thank God, but i played the last song far too slow than what the person leading the worship intended it to..

oops! X-p

(non verbal communication)

things learnt during lecture (!!!!)

time to let go of a lot of things, so many things...? excess baggage? =P

aiyah.........not concentrating!!!!!

so many things!

today, so many things happened! or at least in my mind (again)!

haha...first it rained the WHOLE night and day, but the moment when i went out to meet my friend, the rain stopped, became a nice drizzle only...hehe thank God man =P no need to use umbrella (which i realy hate to use)

got my second part of my birthday present (after so long!) from my friend, a Fruits Basket anime set...haha...quite nice leh, quite a big part of it's "handmade" lol...nice leh =)

jus realised that I've stopped reading the book (Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris) for a very long time, came to realise that as I continued to read the book, the more I learnt, and realised, but the more my conscience was assailed by all the wrong things I did in the past...anyways time to continue to finish the book! and pass it on to others that they may learn too.. =P


Thursday, September 25, 2003

Haloscan's down


stupid error on my blog!!

.. =( ??????

i feel sad, really

is it worse to keep your silence when you know that you have (really strong) thoughts abt an issue, or really go all out to help out?

i dunno whether it's my fault to have provided a "listening ear" to things and not given advice properly, or what?

this is darned screwed up man
p.s.: pls, this is my blog, dun even blast me here, it sux =(

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

I think I'm bored


The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

hmmm...i think i'm VERY bored now...haha
ah...lectures' coming up soon....

Man oh man oh man.... =(

You're goin' down! FOR THEIVING!
Please rate if you liked!

If you're a goth please visit
groups.msn.com/gothicteensoftheworld and join
up cause it rules!

What Would You Go to Jail For? (Many outcomes)
brought to you by Quizilla

haha....hope it's NOT true...

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Sunday, September 21, 2003

Weekend lessons

Just wanna thank you guys who have been visiting and adding in comments here and there, think it's nice of you guys to drop by yeah? =)

Anyway, I realised that I usually learn a hell lot during weekends somehow (okok, a WHOLE lot), lol, this week's service, was scheduled to play the guitars for service (which I've not played guitars for far too long, fingers have gone SOFT, and the guitar was a folk guitar, steel strings, ouch ouch, and to add to it, have only been playing bass guit all these yrs, so have the tendency to mute a lot of strings hahaha), and the practise was TERRIBLE man tell you, but this morning, the service went totally fine! Guess when we really all just worship during the service, things ALWAYS turn out fine, which in turn reminded me of one of the things I loved abt being in the Music min in Hope, that every service, worship in itself is a miracle! heehe...really...but guess somewhere the focus got lost, and have slowly degraded to the point where I just happily rely on what I already know (which anyway was taught by Him too) instead of relying on Him to make things okay, yeah...

the great kick in the butt, even though painful (my fingers are still smarting as I type this blog), is, well, a good kick in the butt yeah! hahaha

hehehe....some of us got anointed with oil during service, those who wanted to receive the Holy Spirit again, and have been running around the whole day with the oil on my forehead till nighttime! oh man...

Thank God for great brothers and sisters in Christ too, of whom without them I wouldn't have had such opportunities to learn and grow too =)

One thing came to my mind though, seems that a lot of people's online or "sms" personalities are different from the way they act in person to you physically in person? I wonder why though.....?

Friday, September 19, 2003


Donated blood today...hehehe...so long nv donate liao, quite fun thou lol, though I still hate needles and blood (when it's not in a bag!)
wonder how many people's gonna donate...?

Giving/taking advice

Evaluating Advice

NO ONE HAS "any right to counsel others who is not ready to hear and follow the counsel of the Lord." This quote from A. W. Tozer reminds me of the responsibility we have in giving advice to others. It is a serious thing to give counsel, and it is also a serious step to take the counsel of our friends. So often we can give quick advice to one another without truly understanding the situation or without pure motives. Part of godly character is knowing how to evaluate the advice we receive and in turn to offer sound and wise counsel.


Thursday, September 18, 2003

Back to my room!

Just had another rest day (today no lessons), before I'm gonna study later, and yeah just dropped by my blog to take a look, lol

abt the lab, it was the electronics lab, cos it was very very much like sec sch physics that day that's y it was so easy lol, but then again i DO enjoy prog labs too haha...call me weird, but I think I'd rather enjoy my education here whilst I learn abt stuff too? =P

Aiyah time to study soon...and the clock is ticking down...for ym oral presentation~~~ *shivers* i dun like to talk in front of people thou...scary~~~

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

Trusting God's Work

Recall a time in your past when you saw God work through circumstances in your life to bring something about.

We all are the actors in a big big play, and that the Director has everybody's part planned and accounted for already...thank God for that man...

Have to do an oral presentation starting the week after liao...gosh...and dun even haf a topic yet!!! How??? Dunno what to talk abt leh....

Tuesday, September 16, 2003


Ah...i love labs man...haha so fun!

The Protected Mind

Had my cg today...funny how so many things can change (for the better?) within a span of a few hours?

Actually dunno whether should be putting this online anot, but then again, the purpose of this blog? And also those who read this probably are a LITTLE interested at least, or don't know who the heck I am! LOL. So here goes...

Actually, these few days (weeks actually come to think of it?) have had a lot of really-not-so-nice thoughts running through my mind, not that I wanted it? But amongst them like: "Those people are so fake", "All just wanting attention amongst themselves only", and even "Why the heck you want attention from people?! So stupid..." Have been thinking like that (unwittingly) recently of a LOT of people lor...not really a nice feeling lor...

then saw a groups of my friends today? And thought of exactly the same things about them...

but all till after cg today, think it was better? yeah...

Well, don't know why it started? But noted one thing, it was only directed at people (duh) whom I'd really like to know more lor...and also all those crap...oh well


Monday, September 15, 2003


Am feeling sad...or melancholic whatever you call it...ah...
dunno y either??

anyways hope my teacher friends are still alive after their first day training at monfort lol =P

yay...later got cg,.... =)

Sunday, September 14, 2003

Chiong ah~~~

wah....yesterday (saturday) got headache the whole day...end up nv do anything the whole day? lol...later must chiong my tutorials liao ah...


Saturday, September 13, 2003


You are Trinity-
You are Trinity, from "The Matrix."
Strong, beautiful- you epitomize the ultimate

What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Work lah!

I wanna do work
I wanna do work
I wanna do work
I wanna do work
I wanna do work
I wanna do work
I wanna do work
I wanna do work

I will do work
I will do work
I will do work
I will do work
I will do work
I will do work
I will do work

Friday, September 12, 2003

My roomie's a Godsend

What else can I say? Thank God...

Thursday, September 11, 2003

The new addition...FLASHy? Lol

Just added in something new at the top...hehehe...any comments? (hope no blastings!)

Study time

Study study study... =P

haiyoh....i ok, now roomie's turn to have sore throat and flam and all those crap that comes with it...think should drink more water too?

Can only pray and hope that he gets better soon lol...

okok...back to study!

Wednesday, September 10, 2003


Got this in a mail, wonder how true is it?

What are some things we do no understand...until....

Here's a little list:


JOY - until we face sorrow
FAITH - until it is tested
PEACE - until faced with conflict
TRUST - until we are betrayed
LOVE - until it is lost
HOPE - until conftronted with doubts
Author Unknown


Hahaha watched Pirates of the Carribean today with my friends...so cool!

but wat was great was that my friend could go, by God's grace, really, cos we ended up watching a 9:05 show, instead of the 7:30 show..hahah...cos school holidays, so many people watching!

aiyah...but after the show felt a bit crapped up, dunno y either... (pms? hahahaahahaah)

have been thinking about things on the way back to campus as usual, man...if only can talk to someone abt things, esp those things that I've decided to do abt some stuff...? (ie. a mentor of sorts? and that lah)

and yeah, though I'm late, and I dunno whether she reads this, but happy birthday Meishan! hehe

...i dunwan to fall for the wrong things/people, or even worse, let people on to wrong ideas.....

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

The Recall

Had a very very weird dream last night...

was a rainy evening, was in a car somewhere in orchard, then all of a sudden, every (hand)phone around me started ringing. And yes, it was a recall to our units

Called one of my friends who was in a different unit, and apparently far too many units has been recalled for it to be an exercise

War? War...

The I woke up, thank God man....really not a nice dream at all...but if that really happened, I really wonder whether those people I've met in army would go back and fight (if need be), or jus try to escape or slack off still like last times? And that person whom I really hated too?

Man, can imagine (vaguely) what those people in those warring countries felt like, think the feeling sux... :(

Man oh man oh man

wah....have seen some other people's weblogs, and their's are so nice man!!!

learn learn learn!

Monday, September 08, 2003

Musings of a very bored person

The new website:
...is non-existent yet
...has not been done up yet

cause' I'm now in the middle of (nowhere) trying to learn a bit more about how this amazingly easy yet complicated looking technology can help to make my life easier when making a website

it looks crappy with the chatbox, and barely works fine, but without it it looks...a little empty? hmmm...

so there, I'm gonna give up for the time being tonight and.....
study! yeah! study! =P

Things I have learnt over the past weekend

1) God CAN keep you awake on a Saturday morning lecture (duh~), and that was reinforced lol

2) excerpts from today's message:

Christian Character: 7 steps to overcome the power of mammon (money)
1) ADMIT your feelings (that you have such an issue)
2) CONFESS your struggles
3) FIND a spiritual friend (to help each other)
4) make an inner RENUNCIATION
2 Cor 6:10: "...having nothing, and yet possessing everything" -> All that you have is not your own, but God's
5) culticate THANKSGIVING
6) GIVE liberally (!!! lol~~~)
7) HOLD ON to God's promises -> That He's gonna supply ALL your needs, according to His riched in Glory

you can't serve 2 Gods: either serve God or serve money
matt 6:24, luke 16:13

lol...wat say you?

had a superb sunday again, super tiring man tell you, now it's every group of 2 doing the survey for an entire block of people!!!!! Imagine walking down 17 storeys (i think?) asking pple the same thing over and over again, and all those crap in that stupid weather! hahah...but God's great I tell you, cos my partner's (my DEAR sister) a very nice person!! hahaha...duh...anyways had a great time in spite of the discouraging conditions (HOT weather, less people turning up today, etc)

hmmm....put a note on my door and pray for a car every time I walk out of the door? I may just do that...but if i really do so hope that my roomie doesn't get too worried that he's staying with a desperate-for-a-car person! hahaha!!

Friday, September 05, 2003

The Car

my roomie just received a call....everything in a nutshell: he may actually have a car to drive in the near future?! oh man hahaha i'm sooooo happy for him, yet at the same time i so want it too!!! haahahah

oh man arghz~~!!!

Coding coding all we do is coding what do we do we code

hahaaha...if only my friend can see this: lol though I know that the statement was said in jest (that females can't code, lol), but wah lau...my class rep is scary man i tell you? if the code examples that she thought of were by herself, she is GOOD man i tell you, scary~~~

time to go back to my programming! grrrr.....chiong ah~~~~!!!!

My arms ache

ah..the result of doing only 70 pushups in the day yesterday, after how long nv do liao? hahaha

still sick from the sore throat/flam today, third day liao i think, feeling sux, wake up in the morning feeling no strength and feverish and headache, wah...i want it to stop! haha...anyway it's ok, i KNOW that it'll come to pass? So praise God first anyway hehe

had worship prac today,and even though EVERYONE going there all had hectic/bad weeks one way or another, think we all had a great time practising and worshipping too at the same time (not to mention that i think like all practises, we all usually suck, but then during the real thing during the service,it ALWAYS turns out well, all these 6-7yrs in the music min lol) yeah!


Wednesday, September 03, 2003

The mind that is made up

"Are there any plans that I've set, but have yet to let Him examine the motive behind them? Or even to approve according to His will? If so, may I give them up completely up to Him for Him to scrutinise and change, for His glory"

Another day in school, and just when we're (or at least I am) starting to understand most of what the person is talking during lectures, it's almost the recess week next week (meaning that all my lecturers will change), awww man!

Some of my friends went to my mei's place to study, gosh too bad had lectures till eveing, else would've gone too lol, but then again...oh well

One thing I wish to know...how exactly do we give up our issues/thoughts/feelings up to Him? I don't think it's just as simple as giving it up to Him right? Surely there must be implications of that statement? But what? Is it to be open to whatever He has to do about it? Or anything else even further than that? Teach me!!!

Aiyah...my friend's bag (the birthday present that we gave to her) broke liao, after 2 days of using...great man...will be going down to the shop with her to c if can exchange anot...lol now I wonder whether should we have gotten the proper Crumpler bag for her? At least that type will last for sure lol. Speaking of which, think it's high time I've gotten another one for myself too? My present deuter's a bit torn liao...gosh

Roomie made a comment, should we pray for a car(we're both gian to drive ah haha)? Lol, though to me that was a want for now, not a need, but it struck me, that if our God wants to really bless us, shouldn't we not have any reservations about asking for things too? (think child-like faith, you'll see my point) Then that pointed me to what do I view God as (same question as last time, but has the answer to that changed over the years?)...oh man...

Monday, September 01, 2003

Was doing my "homework" (no lah) for my CG in NTU, came across one thing,

John 5: 28-29
28"Do not be amazed at this, for a time is coming when all who are in their graves will hear his voice 29and come out--those who have done good will rise to live, and those who have done evil will rise to be condemned.

Does that mean that those who have yet to hear His Word somehow before they left will be judged again? Or EVERYONE? Hmm, the second judgement?

It's amazing I tell you, in that passage, the Jews were extremely angry with Jesus and wanted to kill Him and all that, all because He told the truth and His doings were focused on something a LOT different from what they were doing at that time, but still, He never budged from the truth, even though it has serious implications on Him (his life) in the future, I guess that it's the fact that He had a very powerful backing, God himself... But how many times have we all been swayed by public opinion and not told the truth as we know it?

The spirit of courage...and a REAL awareness of the Father that He's always with you, is what I really wish I will be able to get...I want it!!!
Have been thinking over the things today, after last night's outbursts (would you call those outbursts? dunno...)

I think truly in my heart I've yet to really learn to trust Him in all things? How ironic, one of the songs we sing came to mind: There is no problem too big, God cannot solve it. And here I am ranting about having tried this and that already and it all doesn't work?

Thank God though, better late than never I suppose... =) time to start trusting...again
anyway, went to my friend's 21st birthday celebration last sat, realised one thing, we are getting old lor...?

anyways hope that she liked the present from the group of us, though it was really quite a bad choice of present in more ways than one? duh...

time to go do my tutorials...! (finally)
seeing the lives of people shaped by His grace is really amazing, makes you really want to be shaped in the same (loving) way that they are? not to become like them, but to be moulded by Him too likewise?

then again, EVERYONE's lives' are being transformed by Him, it's only how resistant you are to it? knowingly or unknowingly...

great, i think that was a slap in my own face, time to wake up my ideas

Sunday, August 31, 2003

this is stupid, the things you exactly do NOT want to think about anymore for the rest of your life, or those things what you do not wish to think about for the time being even only, come chasing up with you like a rabid (hungry) dog thinking that you're meat (metaphor), the hell

my friend says that i'm running away from the thing and all that, and that God wants me to settle this thing, but am i?! or what?!

wtf, why?!?!?!! i'm sorry for the language, but if you want to know what i'm really thinking, no holding back, yes, i'm cursing alright

somebody tranquilise me or something, i shouldn't be getting so worked up over this whole damned thing anyway


Friday, August 29, 2003


Another "normal" day for me? But over these days, it's actually been quite heartwarming to see the people responding to the posts recently? Yeah, though I've yet to figure out what on earth exactly's happening, but, well can say am down but not out!

Don't know whether this is the right channel/place to say this, but thanks to you all! And to those who "volunteered" in a way to help too =)

Thank God for my room mate too, hehe, he's been a great encouragement for me to study too lol, but I sure hope I'll be used to help him too man

Thanks again to all those people out there...

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

Wah Lau

Congrats to me man, I've managed to make another of my friends angry today!

Wah kaoz, think I've been treating the people around me badly too these days too, dunno y either, jus comes to me like that, then I realise it after that?

Grrr...what on earth's wrong with me? Have been thinking about things on my way back to campus, and a thought came to me amidst all the crap again: How can I expect people to be "real" to me, if I don't even (dare or bother to) open up to others?

Gosh...If only I were to be able to find somepoint to start? God!!!!!!

Monday, August 25, 2003


I'm very very confused now, it's 2 am, and I think I'd better go sleep soon.

Anyways my friend's enlisting tml, all the best yeah? No worries, I know that you'll grow in there!

I HATE all this BGR crap, or should I say relationships even? Man...either I'm too innocent in my thinking or I'm just too weird in my thinkings, either way, the STUPID things that happen, to my mind!

God, if all those were ever not from You, pls let me know...? :(

The Day of Ups and Downs

So many things happened today, did the survey, went out, blah blah blah...but also a day of a lot (too many even perhaps) of thinking...so many things hitting me at the same time, words can't even begin to describe how terrible I felt in the evening, but not sad, but TERRIBLE. Seems that today, a lot of things have come catching up with me, either that, or I'm under attack (...)

Was so bad...almost cried for no reason whatsoever when I was going to campus just now, gosh that've been idiotic man, and thank God that I wasn't coming with my friend, so weird...but in the midst of it, I really was comforted by Him, when I called upon Him, yeah, then, that spawned another chain of thoughts: I don't know whether it's good or bad, that I really have no one to turn to at these kinda moments except for God? Not that I don't have anyone to turn to really, but it's just that I don't really feel close enough with ANYONE to call just at that moment to...be comforted too? Yeah...man...this is stupid, but who can I trust/have the "priveledge" (if you'd call that) to do so to?

Was stoning for a while during our fellowship today, cos the rest of the guys ended up reading magazines/material and it became almost girls' talk with only the girls talking, and mind drifted off for a while, was thinking of one of my friend, about how wise (life experiences and wisdom) she is (or has become?) now, but I shudder at the idea of how much suffering she had to go through through bad mistakes perhaps? I know even mine seem little to what she had gone through if what I know about her is true, and I can't already take it liao the aftereffects so-called? But how...how to actually give all of these up? I want to focus my energies on Him at the moment? And studies too, so that prob I'll be available for His use in the future too, but these past hurts, they come back still time and again...darn

I want to find the REAL group of friends, the group that I truly can rely on, and serve too at the same time yeah? But where are they? And finding the one for me yeah, but hell, I think I've a whole long way to mature before I can even consider myself ready for such a relationship too again

Was watching part of a drama serial on Channel U before I left my house, and the short story during then was so stupid, but real in the secular world? Or even ours! Two different couples, one going to get married, the guy's a cheat, and the other one, they're married, but the woman's having an affair outside. And then blah blah blah later, the woman with the affair gets caught in the middle of it, and she says "I don't know what to say...I'm confused". Two couples, inappropiate AND insufficient espression of feelings and thoughts. Both cases one gets distracted from a PROPER relationship...made me so angry...don't even know why I was angry at watching such a thing, but I was

And the best part of it all? My mum had been quite sick during the week, am darned worried for her, but don't know what to do other than pray for her and tell her to see the doc. Stupid...

Saturday, August 23, 2003

I NEED to sleep...

Spent some quality time with my floor mates today, after lab, watched tomb raider 2 in my room, but made the mistake of drinking a little during the show? Now am feeling so bombed out...gosh...

And that comes at a price too lor, not having done my tutorials for next monday....awww man..oh well

Friday, August 22, 2003

Stone day

Just finished lectures....have been stoning quite a bit this morning, and day-dreaming yeah? But abt the wrong things...oh God...

Thursday, August 21, 2003


Had a relaxed day today, finished most of my lab questions for tml liao, lol, feels really good to be able to do it lor

Had my band prac in church this evening too, and somehow, got a lift back from church all the way back to hostel! again! and this time the family even dropped by bishan so that i can get something to eat along the way back! God's great i tell you, i can't even imagine myself being subjected to such blessings, but yet they come...wah kaoz

Monday, August 18, 2003



The good week(end)

So many things happened today (sunday), gosh, can't put all in words lor...but had been a wonderful day man

Another testament of my mum's love (yeah), she just unhesitatingly lets me pay 500 odd bux for a new lcd monitor? Yeah, (I'm now using it =) and just because I've decided that I don't NEED (nor want) the laptop loan, and that I need more space on my desktop desperately, else no space to do my work, so there it is! Hwah....and then my bro's nice enough to send me from sim lim all the way to campus lor, even though I know that he was inconvenienced by this? Yeah...so touched....

Then, also very excited abt the weeks to come, got a needs survey that we're gonna conduct in the area that my church wanna bless, yeah, so cool! =)

Ok! Back to tutorials!

Saturday, August 16, 2003

The Verdict

John 3:18
Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.

The people who needs to be saved before they go? Yeah...

Had a birthday celebration for Alex today. Could really tell that he's a really nice guy? Yeah...he kept saying no need for all those presents but could tell that he really appreciated the company lor =) Those around him must be really blessed to know such a person man lol...though I still hope that he'd drive a little safer? Yeah...happened to get a ride from him before dinner? And though I sat in the back seat this time, still feel scared like mad lor...gosh, I wonder how the girls tahan that? Don't tel me they really are used to it???

Along the way back to ntu myself, have come to realise that even though I still like to be alone at times, really quite relaxing, but still would like to mingle with people too lor...haha...identity crisis? duh

Anyways finished my programming lab in a few hrs only! hehe...5 qns ok! Felt so satisfied after debugging and getting the thing to work after those hours! Now for the report! Hope I don't die from this... =|

Friday, August 15, 2003


Am feeling so tired now...even though I did almost nothing much today?

Realised that I'm starting to shut myself out from others? Yeah, today was with a friend of mine, and even though I believe he tries to get to know me better, and to get guidance from me and all that, but have been VERY unresponsive? Yeah...feel really sorry for the way I acted today, but just don't know why felt so sucky today

Went to a friend's dad's wake today...glad for them and the family that he at least accepted Christ before he passed away, but seeing such things only remind me of other things too...crap

The list of things I must avoid until I've done my work...

1) Instant mesengers
2) CS
3) Games anyway
4) Blogging

lol... =P

Thursday, August 14, 2003

Oh God Oh God Where Are Thy Servant's BRAINS??

Tried to study electronics....gosh....totally cannot register inside my brain, even though I've already went through the tutorial?!

Alamaks...if my brain's gone due to army, hope it comes back...? Or jus hope that it comes back lahz....wah kaoz

Better go study.... =P

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

Just Communication

Interesting lesson...though it was supposed to be a waste of time?

Learnt about listening...and one of the points about listening is that, not only is talking properly, but listening is just as important for communication?

Wonder how many times I've taken pple for granted and not granted them the ear? Yeah...and how many times have we actually COMMUNICATED with the Father?


Monday, August 11, 2003

Hey hey!

Hehe...finally my roomie's staying in..at least for tonight? Really look forward to getting to kno him better....yeah?

Had CG with the group, quite a good start, counting the large group, though there were a few (uncomfortable?) silences in between (at least to me it is?), but I know things are bound to get better! =)

My roomie talks really well with his mum, though all Christian too...hiyah...one thing to learn from him eh

What a great day...

Haha...lessons are over! For today at least lah haha...

Had a great weekend, come to think of it, now that my computer's in my room, having no compter whatsoever at home over the weekend's actually quite refreshing leh...can do own things...no distraction, from the outside world (unless you go out lah!), though it's irritating when you have to check out edventure urgently for any news..yeah, then have to use my bro's laptop (which is obscenely slow man..I'd volunteer to help him check things out, that is if he doesn't mind? Hmmm...) to check...aiyah! During those times I wished I had a laptop, then no need to keep asking (and waiting), but on second thought....it'd mean trading this "freedom" too huh? At least until I can learn to control myself! haha..

Thank God really for this morning' tutorials...yeah...cos 1) I understand more abt my integration, and 2) One big blow to the issue of (personal) pride! Yeah! Though it didn't feel good, but yeah...I know that there're things that I'm (too) proud of, though I may not even show at times? *thankful*

At times, I'm reminded of how much my mum loves me, and how much (more) God loves us all...but I sometimes am unable to respond appropiately to either one's actions...esp when I'm feeling irritated or tired? Then during weekends would like not talk much to my mum though she wishes to talk? Aiyah.........................

Thursday, August 07, 2003

The post

Oh yeah! the encoraging post!



haha...nothing much actually, but oh well, it can brighten up one's day right?

Wednesday, August 06, 2003


I'm sooooo disgusted!
Can't believe people can actually go join an eca just purely for 5 points without the slightest intention of even participating!!! Nevermind the fact that they're going for the rally to help vote for the main comm, but joining just to get points is absolutely disgusting!!! Gosh, they really ruin the club for those who're really genuinely interested and want to make it a better place =(


Anyway I didn't go join in the end, but really regretted not going for the hall rally in the first place, by the time I went, at 1 hr gone liao, but it's good to see people wanting to serve, at least they have the heart for it, now let's hope that whoever gets elected, acts according to how he says he/she feels man

Anyways had tutorial mainly today, and thank God for it amn, else would've died liao, second tutorial for electronics and dunno how to do at all in the beginning hahaha =X

Hope my chatterbox'es workig too, have been cranky since last night


It's 1 am, and it's time to do my tutorial (!!!)

Haha...look at the topic i think i'm mad man...really nuts!

Leson of the day: Always do your tutorial early lest you end up sleeping late?


Tuesday, August 05, 2003

Lab's over!

Hahaha...it was quite fun actually! But darned simple too lol =)

The encouraged and the encouraged

Oh yeah, also, had this thing where we were supposed to write notes of encouragement to each other in the cell group? Then we were supposed to try to paste it on each others' (the receipients) backs, while trying to make sure that people don't stick any on you (hehe...dun ask me, ask the gamemaster, she thought of THAT), well, there was this note that was really written properly lor...hehe quite touched by that note...



Had the first CG meeting today, really had a great time fellowship'ing with the rest of the CG, even though we only had games, and a time of trying to get to know one another (by telling a truth and a lie about yourself!! But I think I sucked at it, think I REALYL stutterred during my turn haha...cmi ah), but I really enjoyed their company, really! =)

Tomorrow there's lab, hehe wonder what it'd be like...?

You know it's true
Everything I do
I'll do it for You


Monday, August 04, 2003

The learning day

So many things happened today

Not events mind you, but things that I see, and have learnt

Thank God (indeed!) for the people I still look up to, especially for advice, when really, things are beyond me?

Did a bit of reading today, helped my mei study a bit leant some stuf along the way, interacted with the youths...but along the day, sides of people I've never seen before came up? Hmmm....

Interesting to note though:
1) When you study, you may not necesarily be learning. And also, on another train of thought, when you learn, you may not necessarily study!

2) My weakness, is that I sometimes am too nice...??????

Sunday, August 03, 2003

The two extremes

First things first, collected my pink IC today, so...ORD LOH!!!

Went out with the CFers again today, was the only freshie there (again), so thank God that the freshie didn't kena tekan'ed or anything haha. But seriously, got to know a lot of them better, so really thank God for those, hope that will get to grow with these people too in my four yrs in here? But thing is that really feel at home with this group lor, think they're really hospitable? Have a LOT to learn for them too though along the way =)

Went for supper with Alex and Grace too, at Geylang! Hahaha...so cool, so long never go liao, then end up go with them. Alex's really a funny (and nice) person too, imagine, he sent us ALL the way back lor... But he sure drives FAST man, didn't realise it, but when I dropped off at my place there? Had my feet stepping against the board in front of me to cushion against the lots of accelerating and brakings, not to mention the turnings! Haha...think very long never sit in a car liao maybe?

Anyway reached home? And got this letter...from my ex...really got my thinking into a big mess now (along with my feelings, which is NOT helping me?), and coupled with the talk I had with my elder sister(-in-Christ) over lunch, am seriously thinking about a lot more things which I've learnt, and that whether they're true? Like, for one, we don't go about looking for the partner that God has thought of for you? Until you truly don't need anything else but Him, in that sense? Am not making sense now, brain's in a mess now. Also, a lot of things like, true, getting into a relationship (of THAT type) isn't just based on feelings, but also whether the characters/spiritual maturity, etc etc etc are suitable? But...what if, the thing is NOT exactly right? I know that God can NEVER be simplified into a formula (probably except for that HE LOVES US), and that we should never expect Him, or things to work out exactly in a way, but am I starting to get into that, with these new set of thinkings and values? Also all these things I'm absorbing from around me, are they exactly biblical? I believe that however He teaches us through whatever media/way, it MUST tally with His word too right? Gosh....I'm so confused

But for now, I really really really don't want to end up hurting anyone (not physically lah), but I really don't see a way out based on circumstances? God....HELP........................

Friday, August 01, 2003

The (un)productive days

Hwah...quite a few days never post a blog liao haha, have had quite a few days packed with programs (not entirely lessons), somehow? Lol...

Finally finished my PREPARATIONS for the logic designs lab next wk, after 2 whole days of trying to prepare it! Ended up the first experiment took up 6 A4 pages of my log book lor....scary man...I hope the rest of the experiments not so lengthy, or so many things, else chiar lat ah haha

Hehe...my roomie's prob gonna start staying in next week, when his laptop comes in. Hope that we can encorage each other to study, and do what's necessary, other than being distracted by the computer haha

Thank God it's(the lab log prep) over...now can start on the rest of the tutorials haha =X

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

The "Slack" Day

Hwah....ended up sleping at 4 am last night, then waking up at 11 plus....gosh, feel like a pig man!

Had the first lecture for one of the weirdest modules (I feel), EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION: PRINCIPLES & METHODS, so weird! Anyway it was quite fun, got to have "ice-breakers" with the tutorial group, then discussing on communications barriers, using that as an example...lol, anyway hope to be able to get to know the rest of the group soon? And that....that....that........

Went to the Chrstian Fellowship welcome tea too...hehe...I think I more or less confirm join them liao lor....lol

By His stripes we are healed...?

Hwah...had a terrible headache in the day, don't know why or how it came about anyway, it's gone liao! Haha...after praying abt it and not really thinking abt it too much actually...?

1 Kings 11
Faithless in Love
"I WANT TO do God's will--if only I knew what it was," the young woman said to her pastor. "God has brought Bill and me together, and he has created a great love between us. Bill wants to marry me, but I'm not sure."

"But has Bill given himself to Jesus Christ?" her pastor probed.

"No, not yet," she hesitated. "But I think he will--perhaps after we're married . . ." Her voice trailed off under her pastor's firm gaze.

"God has already shown you his will, I think," her pastor replied. "You know Paul's writings to the Christians at Corinth: `Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.'"

God's laws may seem harsh, but they are less harsh than the results of living by our own guidelines. God seems to know what works. Solomon had occasion to discover this truth.

Deja vu? Almost...

Looking at the youths that I now talk to, am really proud of them, at their age they're already CGLs, helping out in the junior sunday school ministry, and whatnots, hwah...am really encouraged by them, but at the same time, sometimes I do get this weird feeling that what have I been doing during those times? Lol, know that we're all serving the same God, and that everyone has a role to play, but it's funny that looking at them (I feel OLD), and encouraged, yet I do get a good kick in the butt(literally) too! Hahaha...

One of the worst thing in life is to lose your father, what more is it to lose your Spiritual Father? May this never happen in anybody who has already found Him.

Friday, July 25, 2003

Soooo touched.....

Praying Our Discontent

"THE ROOM IS too cold. Why were we seated way back in the corner? You'd think a restaurant like this would have more selection on the menu. When is our food going to get here? I don't even think this waitress deserves a tip . . ."
Perhaps you've had a meal with a person who complains like this. Some people are never satisfied with what they are given. Such people are tiring to be with. In contrast, the person who is aware of God's never-ending good gifts (and a person who seems to have comparatively less) is a joy to be around. Where do you fall on this spectrum?

Think it's quite a simple yet important/effective truth? Cos instead of having a big problem, what about having a big God instead(who can do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING in His power to give you only the best)?

Today finally started lectures...hehe...not really started lah, the lecturers mainly talked about the course syllabus and admin stuff, only 2 out of 3 taught today, and from one of them can tell that a lot of people are going to zhao a particular subject?(not saying that I want to or will lah!!) Lol...poor thing...

Had a prayer meeting for my church this eening, and the things that happened? Hwah... Played guitar for the short worhip session, but within those 3 songs, think I screwed up quite a bit(or at least I thought?). Then started to become so kan-cheong....so paiseh, started to sweat like mad...haha...but thank God, 1) I survived, and 2) at least we still did worship in the end!

Anyway after that, a friend of mine (anyway I think of her more as an elder sister in Christ than anything else) gave me a lift, originally to a train station along the way back to my campus, but ended up she decided to send me back all the way to my hall!(which is at the OTHER end of the island?) Wah....so touched, and shocked actually, but she just said that she's just blessed what, so just passing it on lor =)

Another weird thing today though, along the way, she gave me exactly the same piece of advice as she did 4 yrs ago before I went into junior college? Well, think God's trying to tell me something through all these things (and was...)too? Especially when it now is along the same line as the things I get from the book I'm reading noadays, in a nutshell: I'm not ready yet! =)

Yay...my lectures' are gonna start soon...haha

Hehe...finally, my lectures start tommorrow? And though I think that this will show the extent of which my brains have rotted, I'm STILL excited at going back to school again, at the thought of living school life, and LEARNING...haha (pls don't scold me!!!)

Anyway, think God's really amazing here, saw a few of my ex primary and secondary school friends around the campus today? And was quite surprised to feel absolutely NO anger whatsoever? Chatted with one of them on the way back, learnt that he's become Christian after we all separated in secondary school, don't know, but first impression's was that he's changed... =)

Hehe...am wondering whether THAT was a prayer answered? Think so...


Wednesday, July 23, 2003

Musings in lala-land

Just another slack day...ZZZ...no lessons...yet!

Haha...anyway, today had a talk with a friend? I dunno abt the people readnig this, but, I believe God was trying to dig out one of my issues which I thought I've buried so long ago: The forgiving of my (pri & sec) school mates, which I so conveniently tried to forget with the passing of time, but, I KNOW that isn't right, only thing is that I see the need, not feel the conviction/need (meaning, I don't think I'll be able to to it whole-heartedly now?)...

And also, abt all of this bgr thingy and getting married and blah blah blah, I don't know whether I want it too much? True, it's ok to want to get married (someday!), but wanting it too much...I fear may only hinder me instead of letting me grow?

Sad when you know people are separated from the Father, and that they need Him, but don't know how to bring them to Him?...

Monday, July 21, 2003

The new room

Haha, haf jus moved into my new room last night, and finally settled in my new room! yay...haha

can't wait to start studying, though my friend says i'm mad...lol

but on a more serious note, think God's trying to help my friend out, don't think it's a coincidence that so many things have happened in the span of one day, all relating to the samy type of issues? But i can only hope that this dear sis in Christ will grow through all this man...

Gosh, yesterday's sermon, one thing hit me really hard, it's really weird that even though we all declare the Bible to be the most important book in our lives, but over the years, not many has actually tried to read the whole book, not that it determines our relationship with the Author (thank God!), but....you know what I mean

lalala....uni days are starting... =)

Saturday, July 19, 2003

Clean clean clean, study study study

Today nothing spectacular happened, only that I got my room keys (finally) and cleaned my hostel room?

Wah, but really the excitement of starting school's mad man, am really excited to start uni next week, not only because I wish to study again, but also for The One I'm studying for too lor...dunno, either I'm somehow psycho, or something else?

Wah, didn't know that subjects registering is THAT bad man....but hey IceGal leave it in the Lord's hands ok? I'm sure there's a reason for whatever the outcome of this "madness"!

And hey Avie, cheer up!

Friday, July 18, 2003

To be edifying...?

Wow, the book I'm reading now, Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris (my birthday present! haha), am getting more and more revelations as I continue to read? Wow... And think a lot of insights in there are sound, biblical and applicable in our culture too lor, though some others are really American in context too.

Gosh, my friend's feeling down, have read her blogs, she says that they're an outlet for her? Think it is for some who write that, wonder whether they should be really taken THAT seriously? Probably not as she says, but then again, should we at times too? Especially when they need it? Clarification for anyone spying on me: I CARE for my friends? Not like them when 1) they're female and 2) I show concern for them?!

Have been thinking about one thing as I read the book, wonder how a courtship can be edifying? Godly I know, but edifying? Hmm....

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

The BORING day



Doncha laugh at this, cause it's true! Lol

Had a walk with my friend down the Esplanade today evening? And it was like very windy, so my friend commented that it'll rain, but I said that it's just windy, so it's good.

Anyway, shortly after it started to rain a bit, so I being the lazy one who has not taken my umbrella out from my bag since the Sydney trip, got my umbrella redy for use, saying "Wait the umbrella take out then the rain stop, then it'll be so crap", and really, the rain stopped at that very moment lor, so continued walking? Think after a few metres, my friend looked at the lamp post, and said that it's still raining! And at that moment the rain started to come down through the tree-tops, so went for shelter

Later, had commented jokingly to my friend to be careful for what you pray for, cause you may jolly well get it, like the rain (laugh...), so my friend challenged me to stop the rain, so in the same jest, prayed out loud "God! Please stop the rain!", and in 2 min the rain really became a small drizzle! Was then that my friend had nothing to say...hehehe

But on a more serious thought, if we can "play with the weather" just like that, imagine what we REALLY can do with the faith "the size of a mustard seed"...I wonder... (can't remember the verse though, I still suck at memory verses...haha)

The feelings within

ohmygodohmygodohmygod...this is sooooo crap...the person that I feel most at ease around is also the person that causes me the most pain when I see my dear friend at times!!!!

ouchouchouch...God...if this's not from You, PLEASE take it away!! Crap....

But all these, I let You do Your will...? So please.......

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

The (Ex-)Youth

Hehe...soooo happy today...then again I smile too much? (someone told me that I'm smiling too much, even when playing the role of a very oppresed person during a skit)

Gosh, have been thinking abt the trip, mean, still wondering whether people were just tired, or....they really had other "bad" agendas that conflicted? And also some things cropped up for a person even during the trip, probably that's y he was not that happy that day...but God even used that to show His grace, I mean, he had to rush back to Singapore before our R&R, and he lost his passport at the Sydney Olympic Park!! But our guys managed to get it from the lost & found (a passport!), and managed to rush to the airport y cab just on time for the emergency flight back home!

And to the guys who got my present, "THANKS a million!", really loved the watch man =)

A comment by a friend has been popping up in my mind, (probably it comes from being with the youths), that they look to me as a "role-model" (of sorts), that I should be helping out in the particular ministry too? Hmm...makes me really wanan live my life right for Him, but also to serve as an encouragement (and be an encourager) for the rest of the younger people I'm in contact with? lol

And thanks to Avie for commenting..hehe....

Monday, July 14, 2003

I'm back!

After a week of an un-imaginble experience, finally touched down at the Changi Airport at about 9 plus, came out at 10-ish, to see my mum, and brother (later). Only saw my family, but heard that supposed to have a few others coming to pick me up? (*touched*), but end up cancelled last minute! Hahaha....good lah, I left quite fast after saying bye to the rest, afterward the "welcoming party" miss me there ah lol...

The week, at Sydney for the Hillsongs Conference, was AMAZING man....can't believe how much God has taught me during this time, there were "good" times (mostly) and a day of "bad" times, when I felt totally down and alone, but that turned out to be a lesson for me, or a reminder from Him?

The Hillsongs Conference was electrifying man, really warmed my heart to see people so passionate about the Lord, in addition to the people (Ausies) being naturally generally friendly too, and also to see so many people in a single place, all for the conference!

Think most of my personal objectives were met (they told us to set three personal objectives before going, which should be Specific, Measureable, Attainable, Reasonable, and the Time-frame, acronym's SMART,,,pretty neat huh?), 1) To learn more about vocals, and how I can use my voice to serve, since that's the workshops I'm supposed to be going for? 2) To get to know the rest more 3) To rekindle the fire for God within me, and more that it'd never be snuffed again...

The first one was not fulfilled, cos the vocals training was just teaching things we already knew, so I ended up going mostly for the worship leader related stuff hehe...

Seond one's not really fulfilled to the level I wished, but I's reckon that I'd get to know the rest more when more interaction's possible?

As for the thrd one...THAT, was fulfilled...really, can't describe the process man, really was too indescribable lol

But one of the greatest things that came to my attention was this: I lost my conference pass (which I needed to go into the main area with) on the last day of the conference (Friday), along with my bus/train/ferry ticket, in the morning, so naturally was quite disturbed by that, but the thing was that in my impression, absolutely NO ONE seemed to care about that, and continued along with their chatting and programmes for the rest of the day without even offering to help (it seemed?), well, to cut a long story short, was alone for the whole day, until the evening, when they finally got me in using somebody else's pass who was already inside? And worse, the entire day, kept having the impression that people are ignoring me? (can talk to them, then they stare at you, then look away, then you get their attention, they look back, then ignore you again!!!) End result was not pretty, felt like crap for the whole day, and didn't really know what to do? But that evening after the night rally, I was better.

Thing's not the incident, but the things it set me to thinking, what were my "hidden" agendas for going there? To get attention? Or jus to know the people more only? To be served in a sense? Or to serve? Was scared by the fact that I actually hated some of the people there for what they have been doing during the trip!

Think I'll have somemore sorting out to do...? But till then, I'll want to focus on serving the Lord, and also see how can help improve the ministry back in church

Wow....it's 3am....time to sleep?