the coward

feeling very sian now, feeling a bit tired ah haha...

so many things running through my mind now, but not a single moment have been able to focus on any one of them, flitting from one thought to another

have been trying to avoid my friend of late, this sucks, it really does, but i really cannot take it as nothing has happened and move on without any clearing up, and yes, i DO have trust issues, but hell, even if so it means to be able to get my trust will need a lot more than just being nice, but hey, there ARE people i trust ok

hell, going on and on in a maddening train of thoughts, non-stop, yet no focus whatsoever, and all the time have been trying to drown these away by blasting jpop and dance music so loud that i cant even hear myself think, just staring mindlessly into thin air when travelling, and just trying to enjoy the music, which happens to be one of the last few refuges i have left, short of God

am really concerned for my sister-in-christ, she can't seem to remember any of her stuffs she needs for her exams, but not that worried, know that God'll take care of her, but really hope that she'll be able to remember, short of the last weird crappy method that works: stories (???)

i miss the days in jc, so fun, (still) so carefree, though i won't want to relive them again? was too childish then lol, then again, as if now very mature lydat lol

God~~~~..........