Thursday, December 23, 2004

The allure of acceptance

It seems that no matter what I do, in whichever context or group of people, there's always the factor of acceptance involved.

Not referring to accepting others, being others' centered in thinking, but that the more comfortable I am with any particular group of people, the more I'm tempted to throw my principles and focus out of the window; focus on what is the important thing, showing people the truth about the world in love, and the truth about Jesus Christ, not any other god or form of religiousity, but The God incarnate, come to earth to set us free from our sins, in full obedience of the Father's will; principles, in standing up for what I believe to be the right thing to do, and not to be ashamed of what I believe in.

In ALL my circles of relations (if you'd call it as that), I see it happening... my DDP (the recent project I had to do during the holidays which just ended this morning) group...my church friends...and more recently, even the group I've been doing campus ministry with for the past 1 1/2 years.

So much for following the herd instinct...as far as I can remember over the years I've been terribly ingrained in it, from my decision to move with my church friends to target our efforts at the Punggol area, to it being one of the reasons for my active participation in the CF here, being the exco, and even up till now, it affecting my decisions on what to do as an exco member in the light of the current situation. The pattern throughout all these is the same: as long as I'm accepted within the group somehow, I'll do whatever it takes to make sure that I continue to be accepted.

The only difference now, is whether I realise it, and am aware of it, and hopefully continue to battle it, as compared to the past when I was totally unaware of it.

Why battle it, you'd say? Because it is self-centered, doing what I want, even if it contradicts how we should respond to God, or others; the essence of sin itself.

Back to the thinking board.............

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't know why you are constantly sabotaging yourself with your "thinking" – at the end of the day it is just a collection of YOUR thoughts and YOUR assumption. Not The Truth or whatever you think your thinking has achieved. But I'd say this rant for another day. -Avie

Anonymous said...

YAY go me and my typos.

I don't know why you are constantly sabotaging yourself with your "thinking" – at the end of the day it is just a collection of YOUR thoughts and YOUR assumption. Not The Truth or whatever you think your thinking has achieved. But I'd SAVE this rant for another day. - Avie

Anonymous said...

heyhey...
i can feel ur inherent contradiction. whilst we're to be the light for God in this world, we want to be part of this world too. U're not the only one in this situation. Just think of how many Christians out there who struggle. I believe the very fact that they struggle, indicates tt God is still very REAL too!

Intentional is word I wld advise u with. Even if you think ur current efforts in being accepted into a group seem so shallow, God has every gd intention of u being there. Times when u're very sensitive to the Spirit, surely u wld know at tt instant what God's intentions are. At other times, even though you finally know on hindsight what God's intentions are, you wld still thank God!

Continue to give thanks in all circumstances for God will not tempt you with more than anything you can bear!
-Serene

Anonymous said...

honestly?? haha dun worry.. i'm always very out... ppl think of leaving, i thought of staying... then i thought, was there something wrong with me?? i tried not to be pressurized... haha i wanted to see both sides first.. and after i saw... seriously wanted to leave.. then *confused* hee

well.. ppl who are strong on their opinions, they could be wrong...
on the other hand, some were right and they had good reasons for their opinions..
so yup..

but sigh... can't make any statement?? dunno la..

can see my blog now, note e song... =p

anyway.. somehow, i do wonder.. can we also learn something from e new ppl?? yet again, yup, we may wind up confused... but anyway, life's full of confusion to begin with... all because of our own sinful nature and how we try to deceive ourselves or sin lies in a corner, waiting to deceive us...

living for Jesus... a life that is true'''

Let's just continue striving towards this... **smile**

must continue remembering that it's not about us but it's all about Jesus... which is why our spirit would continue battling this body of sin till the day we breathe our last breath///

praying for all... trying to walk closer to God too..

- ""special"" sister-in-Christ