Monday, November 19, 2007

"Race Conditions"

Race conditions are hard to solve. Here's a simplistic example, but most of such cases would fit generally into this mold.

===How it's entered===
Two parties.

One does wrong to the other in some way.

The other is rightfully angry/hurt/unhappy/etc.

===How it continues===
The "victim" party doesn't forgive for various reasons: not wanting to get out of self-pity, not willing to let go of the past, etc. The first party recognises his/her fault at some point of time, and tries to get/be forgiven somehow. It doesn't happen for the reasons above. Victim party makes things like hell for the first party.

First party tries, gets offended along the way from untrue/slanderous/malicious things said/done. Reacts sometimes. Tries to reconcile sometimes, but keeps getting the same response/situation everytime something is attempted. Gives up in some way eventually. Forgets about the probleme especially if contact between parties is not often.

The hurt party dwells in own hurt/ self-pity/ unwillingness to forgive. Suffers over time. Changes as a result. Hurts self and others over time. Cycle continues.

===How it could end===
It takes two hands to clap. Repentance must come together with forgiveness on the other end.

By both parties: realization of ownself's wrong must occur. Wrong in doing wrong (duh). Absurdity in staying unforgiving after having received such forgiveness from God in Christ. (oh yes, both parties are professing Christians)

Third parties can/should help both parties do so, whilst not doing it in a superiority-complex-mode.

===Is it possible?===
No. Humanly, no. Blind to self's wrong. Not willing to see anything outside of own world.

===What can be done???===
We need to go back to the One/ the source whom can cut through flesh and marrow, exposing the heart. We need to go back to the bible, God's words to mankind. And submit to it in its message to us.

The other thing, is to ask Him to do so in the first place also...whether we're one of the parties or not.

I've just about seen a few cases of this: being the one who did wrong initially, being the third party, and now on the way to being the one who gets the rubbish from the hurt party. One of the conclusions that I've arrived at: till repentance and forgiveness (from the human side) occurs, we're pretty much going to be stuck in this pain in the neck/ass/heart/whatever.

I don't know what will the outcome of these cases be, though I will continue to pray about this. But frankly speaking I'm pretty much disheartened by this kind of dysfunctional relationships that are around like this.

(Enough rambling. Time to go home.)

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