Monday, October 22, 2007

Post-Church Camp Recce Recollections

Disclaimer: this post is a "core dump". I haven't (and won't) refine this one much.

This church camp recce over the weekend was really good.. the recce.. the planning.. the checking out the facilities.. the "trial wedding dinner" for Fen and myself.. =D the two days of bowling resulting in an aching arm.. the learning and forgiving of one another for some of the things we did wrongly unto others..

One of the most vivd, and painful (then), memories would be the realization of one of the basic things that's important to me in a relationship (the BGR - marriage kind of relationship), and what that has meant for me/us thus far. Never realizing it till now, it did cause a fair bit of distress on my side in some situations, and affecting others in the process as well.

What exactly is this thing? The simplest way to describe it would be in terms of the five love languages. (Though I've yet to read it for myself, I've heard about the contents from friends. The five love languages being words, time, gifts, acts, and touch.) (One of?) My main language is touch. It does show itself in the different preferences I have personally, but I won't talk about all of them here.

I realized that the physical distance that we have with one another and others around would be the defining "outward" indicator of the exclusivity of our relationship. That said, we know the relationship is there or not, and isn't defined by things like this. But this is one of the outward manifestations of the relationship, for me at least.

Actually I've never thought of myself that way, not till I realized it there and then. Amazing..

The peace of mind (practically) comes simply from the fact that I've said/described it out to her. I know that she'll be sensitive to this from now onwards, which is a great help truly. But she did change in her thinking/actions a little, but more than enough for me to be grateful and appreciative for.

The challenge continues: to be conscious of fellow brothers and sisters around, especially singles. Not to leave them out when appropriate in a group...

With this, knowing that we both know this, and that she's willing (as ever) to work towards a Christ-centered marriage, my confidence in her has increased. And whilst being thankful for her, I will need to keep working on my end in working towards a marriage relationship.

1 comment:

hamster said...

1st positive post on your blog since the longest time bro... :) Sounds really good!

I can recommend another book to you guys - you can refer here:

The 5 Love Needs of Men and Women

Found it on sale at Tecman recently, but not sure where else it can be found. It's a very good practical book, with biblical background and understanding, and also provides viewpoints from both male and female perspectives (both husband and wife wrote this book).

God bless.