In the past few weeks, we settled the buying of our house, the choosing of a bridal boutique, most of the planning for the simple, small hotel solemnization and buffet lunch, and the choosing of a hotel to do so in.

Things are moving fast, after getting information and deciding. Very stress (mainly for Fen, who did most of the coordinating..., reading up online, checking out forums, stressing over the fact that many locations and preferred photographers are already booked for that day... since I'm really really busy these few weeks. Thanks my dear Fen :-) but it also means that we won't have to worry about these any more :-) just focus on the things left to be done :-)

Not all is going smoothly though. The state of affairs at my house is progressively getting worse and worse. And in the process, even I've reached my limit of patience, and as a result contributing to the (bad) situation by quarrelling with my mum, a few times.

This house was never a home for a long time already, and it's being compounded with the stress of living under the same roof as her, and still with the God given status of being born into this world as her son. I know in theory what needs to be done: honour parent as it is how things are supposed to be, forgive, show love as we've been shown in Christ. But, the situation gets more and more... Complex.

Already am at my wit's end as to what to do with her. Starting to feel very down most of the time, especially when I think or talk about or with her. And what now with her attitude when she interacts or speaks (only when she has no choice left) with me and some others around, I'm only going to be chased away (literally) by her.

Already not having seen a father of my own even before I started to be aware of things, and now seeing how my mother's treating things as if she has no children of her own, sometimes I can't help but feel like an orphan.

I hope that we'll be able to create a home which is good for each other, and our children, in the future when we do get married.

Post-edit: there's more to write after the meeting over dinner, but that's for another post (if it happens).