I now see one of the possible reasons that i don't know how to initiate conversations with people: i like structured conversations, following with the started conversation, talking to one or few people at the same time. The thing is that i might be overdoing it such that i never really initiated proper conversations much. Maybe. But then again this isn't of much real importance in itself.

Am i really "able to teach", or am i not? Or is it just a matter to time, and continued reliance on God in this and effort on my part that's needed?

Have i been taking care of Fen, or even trying my best to do so? God has already revealed to us what is the most important thing by his actions on the cross. Yet...i fail to seek the best for her and others around, and to ask God precisely for this.

Even in terms of understanding titus, i can't seem to come to any conclusion yet as to my own questions. Easy to think one way, equally viable for the other route. What is the best then? Maybe I don't understand titus properly yet.

Still got so many things running through...but i must remember that it's ok to feel horrible when we realize our wrong. But true repentance is in turning back to God, not in feeling sad.