Tug Of War

The tug of war is probably the best way to describe what's going in in my mind these days.

On one hand, there's the thing that I want to do

On the other hand, I know I shouldn't do it. What's more, the more I give in, the harder it will be to do what's right.

Pull! Pull! Pull!

OpenCourseWare Consortium

For those who're interested in getting materials from (good?) universities around, there's now the OpenCourseWare Consortium.

They have quite a few good universities included in the list already, and I think they'll add in more. MIT is amongst the list ;)

Exams starting

Exams are starting!

A bit the gan-cheong, and the more stress I get, the more I need to go things like watching movies, etc. =D

But that's beside the point of this post. Pls pray for me, ok? Not for me to do well in this exams, or even that the exam paper markers will give good grades, or for them to go temporarily blur when they mark my paper so that they'll just mark "correct" regardless (though it'd be nice =D), or for...

But rather, pray for me to just do my best, that whatever the outcome of this (I get the miraculous 1st class or 2nd upper class honours, or that I pass and clear uni normally, or that I fail and stay back one semester, or etc. etc. etc.), I will think, act and speak in a way that shows love towards others and a knowledge of what's truly best. (Phil 1:9-11)

Need to sleep soon liao. First paper in about 9 hours' time...

I now see one of the possible reasons that i don't know how to initiate conversations with people: i like structured conversations, following with the started conversation, talking to one or few people at the same time. The thing is that i might be overdoing it such that i never really initiated proper conversations much. Maybe. But then again this isn't of much real importance in itself.

Am i really "able to teach", or am i not? Or is it just a matter to time, and continued reliance on God in this and effort on my part that's needed?

Have i been taking care of Fen, or even trying my best to do so? God has already revealed to us what is the most important thing by his actions on the cross. Yet...i fail to seek the best for her and others around, and to ask God precisely for this.

Even in terms of understanding titus, i can't seem to come to any conclusion yet as to my own questions. Easy to think one way, equally viable for the other route. What is the best then? Maybe I don't understand titus properly yet.

Still got so many things running through...but i must remember that it's ok to feel horrible when we realize our wrong. But true repentance is in turning back to God, not in feeling sad.

Guidance and the Voice of God

Found this book whilst I walked past Life bookstore at Jurong Point today. Would be interesting to find out what other books from MM are they starting to import.

PS: Well, you might know why the excitement at these books from MM being sold at more and more places seemingly =)

Turn!

As much as it is possible/ok to feel horrible on looking at what I should have done but did not do, or the wrong I did...


...I must remember, that true repentance is the change, the turning from my rebellion back to God and Christ, and not the emotions itself.


May this be so. With the right attitude now that I'm reminded on what should be, and with God's continued undeserved grace shown in countless ways.

Quick update; Code of conduct

I know I've not been blogging much lately, due to some timing constraints =P, or rather, my exams and some other things that require time.

I don't know whether I'll write much, or ever, but still would like to point this out. Just something light (but true) for those who're online/blog/post in forums a lot, and wish to be submit to the one who saved us =)

NB: The draft about the code of conduct being talked about is here, along with some lessons learned so far.

Work in Progress

Need..time..to..be..worked..on..

Please..be..patient..