this is stupid, the things you exactly do NOT want to think about anymore for the rest of your life, or those things what you do not wish to think about for the time being even only, come chasing up with you like a rabid (hungry) dog thinking that you're meat (metaphor), the hell



my friend says that i'm running away from the thing and all that, and that God wants me to settle this thing, but am i?! or what?!



wtf, why?!?!?!! i'm sorry for the language, but if you want to know what i'm really thinking, no holding back, yes, i'm cursing alright



somebody tranquilise me or something, i shouldn't be getting so worked up over this whole damned thing anyway



sorry

...???

Another "normal" day for me? But over these days, it's actually been quite heartwarming to see the people responding to the posts recently? Yeah, though I've yet to figure out what on earth exactly's happening, but, well can say am down but not out!



Don't know whether this is the right channel/place to say this, but thanks to you all! And to those who "volunteered" in a way to help too =)



Thank God for my room mate too, hehe, he's been a great encouragement for me to study too lol, but I sure hope I'll be used to help him too man



Thanks again to all those people out there...

Wah Lau

Congrats to me man, I've managed to make another of my friends angry today!

Wah kaoz, think I've been treating the people around me badly too these days too, dunno y either, jus comes to me like that, then I realise it after that?

Grrr...what on earth's wrong with me? Have been thinking about things on my way back to campus, and a thought came to me amidst all the crap again: How can I expect people to be "real" to me, if I don't even (dare or bother to) open up to others?

Gosh...If only I were to be able to find somepoint to start? God!!!!!!

Confused

I'm very very confused now, it's 2 am, and I think I'd better go sleep soon.

Anyways my friend's enlisting tml, all the best yeah? No worries, I know that you'll grow in there!

I HATE all this BGR crap, or should I say relationships even? Man...either I'm too innocent in my thinking or I'm just too weird in my thinkings, either way, the STUPID things that happen, to my mind!

God, if all those were ever not from You, pls let me know...? :(

The Day of Ups and Downs

So many things happened today, did the survey, went out, blah blah blah...but also a day of a lot (too many even perhaps) of thinking...so many things hitting me at the same time, words can't even begin to describe how terrible I felt in the evening, but not sad, but TERRIBLE. Seems that today, a lot of things have come catching up with me, either that, or I'm under attack (...)

Was so bad...almost cried for no reason whatsoever when I was going to campus just now, gosh that've been idiotic man, and thank God that I wasn't coming with my friend, so weird...but in the midst of it, I really was comforted by Him, when I called upon Him, yeah, then, that spawned another chain of thoughts: I don't know whether it's good or bad, that I really have no one to turn to at these kinda moments except for God? Not that I don't have anyone to turn to really, but it's just that I don't really feel close enough with ANYONE to call just at that moment to...be comforted too? Yeah...man...this is stupid, but who can I trust/have the "priveledge" (if you'd call that) to do so to?

Was stoning for a while during our fellowship today, cos the rest of the guys ended up reading magazines/material and it became almost girls' talk with only the girls talking, and mind drifted off for a while, was thinking of one of my friend, about how wise (life experiences and wisdom) she is (or has become?) now, but I shudder at the idea of how much suffering she had to go through through bad mistakes perhaps? I know even mine seem little to what she had gone through if what I know about her is true, and I can't already take it liao the aftereffects so-called? But how...how to actually give all of these up? I want to focus my energies on Him at the moment? And studies too, so that prob I'll be available for His use in the future too, but these past hurts, they come back still time and again...darn

I want to find the REAL group of friends, the group that I truly can rely on, and serve too at the same time yeah? But where are they? And finding the one for me yeah, but hell, I think I've a whole long way to mature before I can even consider myself ready for such a relationship too again

Was watching part of a drama serial on Channel U before I left my house, and the short story during then was so stupid, but real in the secular world? Or even ours! Two different couples, one going to get married, the guy's a cheat, and the other one, they're married, but the woman's having an affair outside. And then blah blah blah later, the woman with the affair gets caught in the middle of it, and she says "I don't know what to say...I'm confused". Two couples, inappropiate AND insufficient espression of feelings and thoughts. Both cases one gets distracted from a PROPER relationship...made me so angry...don't even know why I was angry at watching such a thing, but I was

And the best part of it all? My mum had been quite sick during the week, am darned worried for her, but don't know what to do other than pray for her and tell her to see the doc. Stupid...

I NEED to sleep...

Spent some quality time with my floor mates today, after lab, watched tomb raider 2 in my room, but made the mistake of drinking a little during the show? Now am feeling so bombed out...gosh...

And that comes at a price too lor, not having done my tutorials for next monday....awww man..oh well

Stone day

Just finished lectures....have been stoning quite a bit this morning, and day-dreaming yeah? But abt the wrong things...oh God...

Rejoicing

Had a relaxed day today, finished most of my lab questions for tml liao, lol, feels really good to be able to do it lor

Had my band prac in church this evening too, and somehow, got a lift back from church all the way back to hostel! again! and this time the family even dropped by bishan so that i can get something to eat along the way back! God's great i tell you, i can't even imagine myself being subjected to such blessings, but yet they come...wah kaoz

Yawn

Yawn

The good week(end)

So many things happened today (sunday), gosh, can't put all in words lor...but had been a wonderful day man
=)

Another testament of my mum's love (yeah), she just unhesitatingly lets me pay 500 odd bux for a new lcd monitor? Yeah, (I'm now using it =) and just because I've decided that I don't NEED (nor want) the laptop loan, and that I need more space on my desktop desperately, else no space to do my work, so there it is! Hwah....and then my bro's nice enough to send me from sim lim all the way to campus lor, even though I know that he was inconvenienced by this? Yeah...so touched....

Then, also very excited abt the weeks to come, got a needs survey that we're gonna conduct in the area that my church wanna bless, yeah, so cool! =)

Ok! Back to tutorials!